Why isn't anyone listening to Theophilus London

Rarely does a day go by when someone doesn't come and ask me "Why aren't more people listening to Theophilus London." Now, for someone of my musical reputation, this type of thing is common; to be fair, "why aren't more people listening to Owl City" is also common, and perhaps a more important question (another time). Theophilus London is particaularly interesting, however, in that he should be big, according to all known laws of culture. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. First, some background:

Theodore, Theo, Theophilus John London was born April 3 1964 in London, Ontario (for the astute reader, the home of one Justin Bieber), to Mary and Steve, educators at the local community college and middle school respectively.